Back to: TIP Block 1: Foundations
We just talked about goals, and the scary part of making them is the knowledge that we can fail. Many of us grew up under the “you must be perfect” era of parenting so it’s often programing that’s so deep, you just get a jolt of fear or dread when thinking about goals and not even consider the thought patterns that were jumped.
That’s the other lesson to look at here. Many of us metaphorically beat ourselves up when we fail. Most especially when it’s a goal we set and something we wanted. It’s a very unhealthy outlook. Being upset is perfectly healthy and natural. But instead of calling ourselves names, or jumping into the cognitive distortion of Black and White (thinking only in terms of success OR failure) we should do our best to take a look at what happened and why, so we can learn from it better. After all, no learning is ever wasted.
In the doing we learn what works for us, what doesn’t work for us, and often there’s still progress in the goal, even if you didn’t hit the mark. And sometimes, just as in art, the resolution may not have been what you were looking for, but it was still good or even better than what you were aiming for.
Sarah Lewis, a world acclaimed art historian, speaks at a TEDtalks event about the difference in success and mastery.
This is a highly personal lesson. We all experience failure in different ways, so it’s hard to just give you a list of questions to answer. So I’d just like to hear your thoughts, understanding, and experiences of failure in your life with either specifics or a general overview. Maybe times that it stopped you from doing something you were passionate about. Maybe it awakened your determination and drove you further.
This isn’t an easy lesson, honest reflections on our moments of “faults” is a difficult thing to do, and can bring up some unpleasant feelings. I find the best way for me to work through those is to acknowledge them, and value them for what they are. “yes, this specific thing happened, and I feel this emotion(s) about it. And that’s ok. I will do better when I can”
Please add your answers to your TIP Journal located in the forums, and don’t forget to cite any material you used in your lesson!